Can't believe it's been two years since my last post. Time does go by in a flash. And boy have I been busy. Special thanks again to a new found friend, Kyoung Hee. My recent conversations with her inspired me to revisit my blog.
I have been meaning to write this entry to inspire some former students, Jessi and Jeni. That promise was made two years ago. Better late than never, right? I think it’s for the best that I’m only writing this now. The things I’ve experienced in the last couple of years have grounded me even more. I have much to write about these days.
I can still remember clearly how much I wanted to encourage them to never give up on their dreams. At that time, I was just beginning to follow mine. It was the scariest decision I have ever made. To start my own business, so soon after a failed first attempt. Half of me was still heartbroken from the failure but the other half, the stronger half, wanted me to listen to my heart and just do it. And so I did!
In retrospect, I think I know why I procrastinated about writing this. Back then, I myself was unsure about what I wanted to do. I felt I was at a crossroad, undecided whether to go forward or not. The good thing about me though, once I’ve decided on something I follow through with it. Wasn’t a bed of roses, I tell you. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I had no idea it was going to be this hard. I cannot count the times I cried. Lost count of the sleepless nights from anxiety coupled with exhaustion. To be honest, there were many days when I thought to myself, “Why the heck am I killing myself to do this?” Quickly, the answer would come back to me. “This is my life-long dream. I have to do it or at least try to do it. If I fail, what’s important is at least I had the guts to even try. Not everybody has the balls to go after theirs. Kudos to myself for being brave enough to follow mine.” After this inner self monologue and a few deep breaths, I am back to my old sane self again, ready to go once more. Like I said, “Kyoung Heeya, one day at a time.”
I will say though that in the process of going after my dream, I have never felt more like myself. I have learned who I really am and what I’m truly made of. It has been a road to self-discovery and despite the many trials, I have no regrets whatsoever. I have embarked on something I have never imagined I was capable of and humbled by what I have achieved so far. None of which would be possible without my faith and the support of my loved ones. So again, like I said, “Kyoung Heeya, surround yourself with positive people.” We all need that in our lives. The reason I am who I am today is because of all that I have experienced to date but more so thanks to the love and support of my family and dear friends.
I write this now for you too, Kyoung Hee. To show you that I’m not always all bright and confident as you think I am. There are days when I wake up confused and unsure whether I’m doing the right thing or where I’m headed. Don’t worry. We are both strong women and as long as we hold true to that, we will always find what is right for us. The future has so much in store for us! Just listen to your heart, be authentic, and follow your bliss.
